i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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