you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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