Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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