hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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