the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
