We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
