wanna go halves on a baby?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
