I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
