I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
