Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize