when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
