you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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