he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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