Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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