Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
