Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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