My balls are so social today.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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