if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
we should paint friendship bongs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
