dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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