It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
