Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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