i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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