the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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