Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
