Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
