I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
