Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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