yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
try to milk me bitch
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