Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
