i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
