if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
