He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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