How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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