Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
