Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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