ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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