Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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