I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think my vagina is haunted
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
