Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
