i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
