I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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