the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
