Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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