Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
