Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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