I don't usually arrange sex via text message
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
