ADVERTISEMENT

• (517): View more from Michigan

  You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins

  Fav 19 6212 1247

  share tweet
  

• (754): View more from Florida

  He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?

  (954): View more from Florida

  In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?

  Fav 100 1834 8678

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.

  Fav 9 3527 1344

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class

  Fav 12 4709 1276

  share tweet
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.

  Fav 6 2811 1281

  share tweet
  

• (231): View more from Michigan

  I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1

  Fav 7 1442 1077

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...

  Fav 8 791 1609

  share tweet
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer

  Fav 5 1254 964

  share tweet
  

• (435): View more from Utah

  I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read

  Fav 14 3061 938

  share tweet
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic

  Fav 8 1827 1020

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout

  Fav 1 531 654

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."

  Fav 6 706 396

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!

  Fav 2 458 220

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.

  Fav 2 19 94

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...

  Fav 0 26 43

  share tweet
  

Randomize