i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
