walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
