I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
