i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
