im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize