Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
