he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
