my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
