Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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