New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
