can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
