dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize