i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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