Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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