I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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