Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize