Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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