i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
