WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
