I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
