its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize