nut hugger
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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