I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
