Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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