a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
