my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize