just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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